Never enough time......

For those who don't know, my father (Gregory Lynn Beasley) passed away suddenly last Thursday. The news was devastating as he was a relatively healthy 62 year old man. As I was driving to Austin arguing and pleading with God, I had an overwhelming sense of peace come over me. What I was arguing was not fair, God put in perspective for me..... You see, my dad was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer exactly 4 years ago this month. He was given 4-6 months to live and he very quickly began to get sick. Pancreatic cancer is almost always fatal, but my dad was determined to beat it. He was determined to live to see his grandchildren grow, to see my youngest daughter Emma be born, to spend more time with my sisters and I. As his body began to wither away from the cancer and the chemo, my dad's will stayed strong and he fought..... Oh he fought!


In January 2006 he had a procedure done called the Whipple surgery which in and of itself was life threatening. They went in and removed every organ or piece of an organ that had any contact with the pancreas. They removed part of his liver, half of his stomach, his pancreas, sections of his intestines, and so on. I spent a few weeks with him at MD Anderson as he began to recover from the surgery. The surgery was a success and my father was without cancer. I believe that he was healed by God..... not through some flash of lightening, but through the doctors hands. So from that point on, my entire family had a renewed appreciation for our time together and our relationships with one another. My parents are divorced, but after the cancer we spent every Christmas together and every Thanksgiving. We no longer took for granted the short conversations we had and we never failed to say "I love you".


Fast forward to last Thursday..... My dad passed away suddenly from a pulmonary embolism. He died immediately and I was angry with the Lord for taking my father. As I was beating my steering wheel and sobbing uncontrollably, God spoke to me. I asked God why he didn't save my father and He said that He did. God saved my dad 4 years ago and he blessed our family with 4 wonderful years together..... Four years to say everything we wanted to say and do everything we wanted to do. God's gift to us was 4 years of with my dad and I would take those 4 years with a close loving relationship over 100 years of regrets and taking each other for granted.


This realization didn't make me miss my dad any less and it didn't make the pain go away, but it gave me peace. Many people.... most people take life for granted until something like this happens. We didn't do that and although my dad's life was too short, his legacy will live on. You see, I was adopted as an infant and I believe that my being adopted is what planted the seed in me to adopt children of my own. As Leah and I push forward to complete our adoption of Elisa and Vanessa, I thank my father for making the choice to adopt me 33 years ago.


I love you dad..........